Five to Thrive: Five Steps to Self-Love and Feeling Good
“Whenever you start guiding yourself by caring about how you feel, you start guiding yourself back into your Stream of Source Energy, and that’s where your clarity is; that’s where your joy is; that’s where your flexibility is; that’s where your balance is; that’s where your good ideas come from. That’s where all the good stuff is accessed from.” Abraham Hicks
Change is a tricky thing. We crave it, we long for things to be different, we wish for better bodies, more money, happier marriages, a better job, happiness. You make a plan, start to take steps and then WAM!, you are hit with the reality that change, I’m talking REAL change, the kind of change that you desire deep down, the kind you are afraid to voice because you know that to achieve it will require you to face yourself on every level. It’s hard, it’s messy, filled with discomfort, and requires you to show up every single day. And so the fear settles in, and you start to step back into the familiar, into the coziness of what you know, into the sanctuary of discontent where you have strategically built your “safe” world.
But, here’s the thing. If you are genuinely dissatisfied, longing for more, unhappy and hiding all of it from those around you, how “safe” can it be? For 15 years of my life, I was so incredibly unhappy with myself and my body. From the outside, it looked like I had it all. The high-high-paying career, fit body, friends, great family, active social life, but inside there was so much unhappiness and dissonance. I just never felt like I was enough. I could never do enough, be fit enough, thin enough, work enough. I wanted perfection. This unrealistic desire affected everything, my career, relationships, and most of all my health. I became anemic, went through periods of depression, stayed too long in abusive relationships, and had periods where I completely lost myself. But, here’s the thing. What is lost can always be found, but YOU have to look and search and uncover and keep looking until you find you again. It takes just one courageous moment to change your life.
The road is never a straight line. It bends, curves, dips and there are some stiff f’ing climbs. When clients or anyone asks me how I was able to go from hating to loving my body and myself (which feels so good to say!), I share this. These were the five core steps that took me from a mindset of surviving to thriving.
I stopped lying to myself that everything was fine and that dieting was just an inevitable part of life. I recognized that what I was doing was not working and denying myself of true happiness. As the saying goes. I was so tired of being sick and tired of trying to be or look a certain way, placing my mental and emotional health aside. because my health, mental, emotional and physical was more important than any number on a scale or size. The average woman spends 17 years of her life dieting. And research shows that 3 out of 4 women partake in disordered eating. This system is broken, and it is up to you to stop playing in it, not only for yourself, but for every young girl who you interact with, whether it be your child, niece, or granddaughter.
I stopped trying to fix it myself and asked for help. You don’t have to do it alone. And you are not alone in how you feel. I promise you. Throughout my life I have utilized therapists, coaches, hypnotherapists and practitioners across many different fields such as reiki, breathwork and EFT to help develop the tools to build a positive mindset. And now, I love sharing these tools with clients, friends and family.
I educated myself, DID and DO THE WORK! Books, presentations, certifications, podcasts, workshops. As much as I can and could. And as I learned, I implemented I took action. A big pivotal moment for me came in 2016 when I attended a presentation with Dr. Mark Hyman. He discussed the addictive nature of sugar, why eating dietary fat won’t make you fat, the importance of protein and plants and so much more. I left that room lighter because I recognized I didn’t have to deprive myself anymore, and if I don’t that neither do you.
I stopped depriving myself. We are 30 trillion cells and have 50 hormones that all need nourishment. It is not about how many calories you eat. What’s important is what is IN the calories. I changed how and what I ate. High protein, veggies, whole grain carbs, and good dietary fat. And yes, a sweet treat and a cocktail every now and again. And with these changes, cravings started to decrease, brain fog went away, energy went up. I genuinely felt and feel good.
I got quiet and got grateful. I stopped watching TV and decreased social media. At first, the quiet was hard, because it placed thoughts front and center. But learning to ride those waves and allow thoughts to come and go and not live in them is essential in helping to heal. I needed to come back into myself. I spent so much time outside of my body, reacting, pushing, escaping, and doing. This required some help. I started meditating, breathing techniques, and a gratitude journal. I asked myself what I needed, what did/do I truly want from this life. What do I desire? And WHY?! (PS - The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte is a game changer.)
BONUS! I cut back on high intensity workouts and added more walking, yoga and pilates which helped to decrease the adrenal fatigue and hormonal imbalances that I was experiencing.
Change is possible. But, sustainable change takes time, consistent effort and a commitment to show up for yourself everyday and be willing to do the at times very difficult and uncomfortable work that it takes. But, here’s the magic. The more and bigger you show up, the bigger and more rewarding the changes become.
Remember, it’s a long game. Start with one step, one thing at a time. Small changes, compounded over time, lead to BIG change over a lifetime. It is NEVER too late to choose you. The greatest investment that you will ever make is in your health and well being. So why not start today?